Last night I:

Ate my first seafood ravioli.

Escorted a Belle/’80s prom queen hybrid named Megan to a dance at the New School.

Wore a turqoise short-sleeved sweater, white Givenchy coat, flare jeans, white velcro shoes and white rhinestone sunglasses.

Introduced myself to everyone as a “the male prop.”

Drank an undisclosed amount of wine.

Flirted with a grimy green puppet that was identified by its owner as “my inner self.”

Danced so fiendishly that Megan said, “Stop it!  You’re too good!  Let me catch up!”

Hashed out organized religion with a disillusioned Jew.

Dipped a tortilla chip in the hot salsa three times because I couldn’t remember which was which.

Peed on the corner of Benziger and Sherman Aves. because I just couldn’t wait five minutes until I got home.

Woke up at 4:30 am to find my stereo remote in the middle of the floor with the batteries removed and my beeping alarm clock under a pile of ten pillows.

Sweet Fridays are made of this.